A post-election suggestion

By Richard Nieva

The election is over, and there are some things that are certain.

First, President-elect Barack Obama will be heading to the White House in January, bringing to fruition the historic hopes of millions, both in America and abroad.

Second, Bristol Palin will deliver her baby in December.

And in these days following the election, it is obvious what direction the country should take: Give Bristol her own reality show on the E! network.

If Tina Fey and Saturday Night Live have taught us anything, it's that the Palins equal big ratings.

Imagine it with me. Think "The Hills," but with more big-game hunting. And think "Juno," but set 565 miles from, well, Juneau, Alaska.

Give it a kooky name like "Raisin' a Palin" (or Johnston), and you're good to go.

I've even got the perfect name for the little tyke. If it's a girl, probably something plantlike or earthy to follow suit with the rest of the Palin clan, like Sequoia or Fern. If it's a boy, Maverick.

Throw in a few cameos from wacky granny Sarah and you've got yourself a mid-season replacement hit.

If all goes well and Nielson ratings allow for multiple seasons, in a few years we'll have Sarah Palin teaching him Creationism (alongside evolution) before helping him strap on his hockey gear and sending him off to practice.

It would also be the perfect venue for Sarah to announce her 2012 candidacy. And we could get this whole thing started all over again.

Also watch out for the episode where Todd and soon-to-be son-in-law Levi go on a fishing trip for some male bonding time, complete with hilarious awkwardness and cringing silences.

And don't forget visits from Uncle John McCain, who will be sure to drop in from time to time with birthday checks for little Maverick Palin worth eleven dollars.

Since Palin didn't win the White House, I see MTV awards in the family's near future.

Logistically, Wasilla would be the perfect place to shoot a reality show. Think of all those gorgeous establishing shots of the Alaskan horizon, with Russia prominently in the background.

It would be a cinematographer's dream. Think about the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Well, it's literally always sunny in Alaska -- at least for half the year.

And on the unlikely occasion that some representative from E! reads this column and decides to bring this idea to life, I believe I deserve a cut of the profit.

And if this column really does get this show made, I am so, so sorry.