A serious lack of options for Santa Clara women
By Annie Rose Ramos
My housemate got asked out last week. I think I am still in shock. Granted, the date was to the circus, but it was not to be mistaken for anything other than a date, which, in case you haven't noticed, rarely happens here.
A Santa Clara boy picked up a Santa Clara girl and treated her to dinner and entertainment. This is practically unheard of here because students at Santa Clara profile-date. Instead of relying on meeting members of the opposite sex by chance and hitting it off with them, we profile-date through Facebook and the opinions of mutual friends.
On Facebook, getting "poked" is taking it to the next level. A first date consists of a drunken make-out session at C&J's or The Hut. Why are we so afraid to spend time with one another alone, one-on-one, by ourselves, on a formal date?
"It is because guys don't have to offer much here," said senior Myra Davoudi. "Girls throw themselves at guys anyway."
Some women feel so insecure that they offer themselves up to guys because they think that is what they have to do to get a guy -- a tactic that sets them up for failure. It ends up backfiring because guys use women for sex.
This is not to say they do not like these women. They just have lost all respect for them.
"It is like if you automatically got an A in class by not doing any work at all, would you be motivated to keep trying to work hard in the class?" Davoudi said. "Guys do not ask girls out on dates because they already get the girls into bed without having to do any work at all."
So much of the interaction that occurs among Santa Clara students happens in a setting that involves a crowd of people and alcohol, whether it be at a house party or at the bars. Students here feel as if they need alcohol to interact with the opposite sex; call it a social lubricant, if you will.
A date is not a proposal to marriage. A date does not mean that two people are boyfriend and girlfriend. There was a time when the first step to a possible relationship was a casual date.
I am here to say that women are open to dating. It is just so strange that we do not know what to think. We are simply dumbstruck by the notion of a guy asking us out on a date.
Another factor to consider is that there are more women than men here.
Consequently, the guys get the pick of the litter, while the women are grasping for what is left, becoming highly competitive amongst one another and acquiring unhealthy self-images.
Self-image issues are why girls at this school have so many problems with eating disorders and doing drugs to lose weight.
Unfortunately, social circles are small here at Santa Clara, and if a relationship does end badly, avoiding that person is absolutely impossible. Believe me, I've tried.
Relationships drag on because we keep seeing our once-significant other, in Benson, in class, at karaoke night. It is like a bad memory every time you incidentally see them around the corner, making them impossible to forget.
Students at Boulder or UCLA have the luxury of hooking up with someone and never seeing them again, but we do not.
Another aspect that has always perplexed me is how it is socially acceptable for guys of all grade levels here to date women of all years. But women are only allowed to date guys their own year or older.
Therefore, senior women are left with only the guys from their senior class, and believe me, we have exhausted every and any option, except for the hopes of catching a glimpse of a law school student on his way to class.
Our wading pool of prospective guys has just diminished to a puddle.
"I think girls can date younger guys here," said senior Thomas Cho. "It just has not widely caught on yet. You do not hear about it too often."
Meanwhile, senior guys are licking their lips with the eye candy of fresh meat. Ah yes, the freshmen girls are their newest conquests. But hey, who said romance was dead?
Annie Rose Ramos is a Senior English major.