A student survival guide to Parents Weekend
By Molly Gore
Sure your parents went to college, too, but that doesn't mean they are ready to see their children in the same place of liberality, recklessness and beer.
Even if you are the responsible, introverted type, your parents probably suspect you. If your parents don't suspect you, they probably should.
The practices of college living should be neither criminalized nor generalized, but the truth remains that we each have a side of us we'd rather not expose to our parents.
Comfort your parents that you are actually enrolled and that you succeed in waking up before 2 p.m. on most days.
Here is your guide to entertaining your parents while completely misleading them about what you do here.
* Take them to the de Saisset Museum.
Make sure you have some pre-informed tidbits to share. The exhibit this season is definitely worth a visit beforehand anyway; the focus on 1960s art is sure to please all ages.
* Lunch
Arrange lunch with a professor at Adobe Lodge. The food is better than Benson, it's a classy setting and you can pretend these professors are your regular company.
* Library
Bring them with you to pick up some books on the African diaspora that you ordered for leisure reading. Helpful quip: "I know it's a trailer and all, but it doesn't matter to me. As long as there are books and a quiet corner, I have my weekend nights set."
* Get them off campus at night.
Though the streets of Santa Clara are not swarmed in drunken revelry to the extent they might be at a Big 10 university, there remains enough activity to symptom something for your parents to worry about.
Hit a coffee shop and a movie during these hours.
* Participate in pre-planned events.
Lucky for you, the university has planned loads of events for Parents Weekend, including everything from career networking lectures to a fancy dinner dance.
If some of the lectures sound a bit dry, don't be misled -- listening to your professors talk about their research and passions could be one of the most enlightening experiences you'll ever have.
Top picks:
Reflections on food and sustainibility, Friday 3-4 p.m.
"Back to the Classroom," Friday 1-5 p.m.
Welcome dinner and university update, Friday 5 p.m.
Women's basketball, Saturday 2 p.m. Leavey Center
Dinner dance at the Fairmont, 8 p.m. The Fairmont Hotel
* Order these books from the library and put them on your dinner table:
Anything by Fyodor Dostoyevsky;
"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel;
A biology textbook;
"A Companion to Plato" by Hugh H. Benson
* Visit the Mission Church:
Self-explanatory.
* Avoid the morning-after red-cup territory:
Do not cross Lafayette Street with your parents on a weekend morning.
Do not walk through the Bellomy Apartment complex. In fact, do not let your parents look at a curb if you can help it.
* Cook:
If you have an off-campus living situation, offer to make dinner for your parents or maybe plan a family event. Make sure the fridge is conveniently barren and hint that though you may want to, it's difficult to eat healthy when avocados are more expensive than Pizza Bites. Then, go to the grocery store.
* Winter One Act Festival:
Take your parents to a show. There is a 2 p.m. matinee on Sunday, a perfect post-brunch outing for everyone.
The key to misleading your parents is appearing like you are in your natural environment in some places where you actually are not.
Whatever you do, drop a line about the beauty of aesthetic congruity in the university's Mission architecture and keep them off the streets after 11 p.m.
Above all, remember you don't have to be unnatural to have a good time with your parents here, but maybe clean up a little more than usual.
Contact Molly Gore at (408) 551-1918 or mgore@scu.edu.