ABCs of being stress-free: Overcoming mid-quarter crises

By Michelle Murphy

A long summer filled with relaxation and bliss makes easing your way into fall quarter anything but easy. Even worse, it seems that just when you think you've begun to catch up, the inevitable horror strikes: midterms. Stress sets in and it seems like absolutely nothing is going to get you out of your misery. However, this is far more easily solved than you might think. Eliminating stress is, in fact, key to finishing your work on time and doing it well. I could sit here, ranting and raving about how bad stress is for your body, and what medical and scientific things you can do to rid your body of it, but the likelihood is, that if you're actually stressed, you're probably reading this paper to relax, and the last thing in the world you want is an academic rendition in essay format. So I thought I'd help you out a bit and present to you a comprehensive A to Z list of all the things you can very easily do on campus to de-stress yourself and improve your performance during midterm week.

A Absquatulate class to save time, then expand your vocabulary by finding out what that means.

B Enjoy some beer at the Bronco.

C Take advantage of the free counseling appointments available on campus and spend a half hour venting to someone who will actually listen to you. Call 554-4172 to make an appointment.

D Spend some time at the deSaisset Museum, and lose yourself in some of the art... that is if you can still remember from freshman orientation where exactly that's located.

E Exercise. It's a known stress buster and might prevent you from sending anonymous hate mails to your demanding professors.

F Follow the advice of that urban myth and "take pleasure" in the Mission Gardens...

G Grab some rays. Reading outside in the sun is certainly less stressful than being locked up in a stuffy dorm room.

H Explore the historical sites on campus. That way, even if you fail your midterms and kill your GPA, you can't say your time at Santa Clara was for naught... you'll always have useless factoids about Juniperro Serra's exploits to entertain people.

I Invite someone special for a picnic at your favorite spot on campus. This could also lead you to fulfill "F" on this list... two birds with one stone.

J Just do your freaking work and stop complaining about it. You probably waste more time stressing about getting your work done than it would actually take you to do the damn work.

K Take a kickboxing class at Malley. They're offered Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. for a fee of $40 for the entire quarter. Visit Malley for details on availability, and if you can't get in to one of their classes, make your own!

L Lists, Lists, Lists. Somehow, even though you're not actually accomplishing anything by making them, you always feel better afterward.

M Go get yourself a massage at the Wellness Center. At a dollar a minute with a well qualified massage therapist, this is one opportunity you won't want to pass up. Call 554-4409 to make an appointment.

N Nominate candidates for the next recall election. The way this state has been working, you can never be too prepared, and it might just earn you extra credit in your poli-sci class.

O Osmosis... Find out if it works with Spanish vocabulary words.

P Play a practical joke on a friend... or an enemy. There's nothing like seeing someone else suffer to make yourself feel better.

Q Take some quiet time to reflect on what's going on in your life and what's really important to you. Try meditating. Check out instructions at www.tbsa.org/meditationinstrucctions.htm

R Rediscover your youth by taking a roll down the hill between Mayer Theater and O'Connor Hall.

S Have a screening of your favorite movie on the big screen at the Media Lab and bring popcorn to distract and distress those studying there. If they get angry and shout at you, tell them that you're studying for your United States history midterm, comparing and contrasting the contributions of the Native Americans (corn) and Western Europeans (film).

T Theatrically stage a one-man production of "Hamlet" for your friends and colleagues in the amphitheater by Mayer, presenting your new and improved version of the famous soliloquy. The topic: "To stress, or not to stress."

U Use your stunning vocal talents to astound and amaze those studying by the fountain by belting out Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body" at the top of your lungs. This multifaceted activity will work to both de-stress those around you and also assure you that you always have something to fall back on should your academic career fail.

V Volunteer some of your time with SCCAP and hope that the experience will not only help others, but also make you feel better about studying because you'll feel so crappy about how your community service record pales in comparison to Blair's.

W WWW.SNOOD.COM. If you've heard of it, you know exactly what I'm talking about, if you haven't, you're definitely going to love/hate me for introducing you.

X Xylophone. Finding another "X" word was too stressful for me.

Y Yell "Wake up Swig" in the middle of the night and reminisce about the days before integrated dorms.

Z ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Perhaps most importantly, keep up with your sleep and remember that being rested means being ready for intense brain work.

With these twenty-six wonderful suggestions in mind, study long and prosper and try not to injure yourself in the process.

Contact Michelle Murphy at (408) 554-4852 or mdmurphy@scu.edu.