Are you ready for some football?

By Michelle Murphy

We've got all you need for a fun and fabulous Superbowl party. Pick your team, draw up a betting chart and follow these simple steps to squeeze the most out of an inherently fantastic day.

û Don't bother cleaning. The Superbowl is a man's game and should not be feminized. Make no effort to beautify the surroundings. If you're celebrating in the correct fashion, all eyes should be on the television, not on the floor's array of un-recycled newspapers and week-old crumbs.

û Pick manly food. Again, the sport is hard-core, and in no way welcomes the inclusion of fancy hors d'ouvres. Keep it simple. Chips and dip in all varieties work. If you're feeling creative, set up a barbecue. Nothing says football like charred hot dogs and hamburgers.

û Beer. No real football game is complete without this staple of athletic Americana. If you're looking to stay cheap and traditional, any form of Bud is perfect (and will get you excited about the commercials), provided it's bought in bulk. If you'd rather get fancy, hold your own personal beer bowl, comparing brews from both Carolina and New England. Samples from the Carolina Brewing Company might be harder to get your hands on than those by Sam Adams, but this fact shall serve to underscore New England's superiority.

û Size Matters. Watching the game on an enormous TV screen is imperative. If you can't find a host with the size where it counts, drive your flatbed down to Best Buy and purchase the biggest and best you can find. Monday is a great day for returns.

û Guys, invite girls. They might surprise you with their trucker mouths and enthusiasm for the game. Including feisty females could make the atmosphere more competitive and exciting, and if they turn out not to be into it, at least they can tend to the cooking.

So with this â€" eat, drink and be dirty, all in the name of pigskin.

û Contact Michelle Murphy at (408) 554-4546 or mdmurphy@scu.edu.