Break up Jailblazers

By Josh Griffin

Several weeks ago in talking with some friends, I noted that the Portland Trailblazers had been making headlines. Those headlines were surprisingly not related to the criminal behavior of the members of the team, but were rather focused on the consistent play of the team.

I then set the over/under on weeks it would take before the Jailblazers had a spontaneous combustion at three weeks.

True to form the Blazers are back in the news in a timely manner, and I couldn't be more intrigued.

This time rookie Qyntel Woods was arrested in possession of marijuana. Personally, I think the Blazers should give an award at the conclusion of the season rewarding the one player (if there is one) that is arrested, but is not at the time in possession of marijuana.

The big story, however, is that Zach Randolph punched teammate Ruben Patterson in practice, injuring the latter's eye socket. In the aftermath, Patterson had perhaps the quote of the year when he told the Oregonian, "I forgive him. He's my teammate, he made a mistake, and I can't retaliate, trying to fight him or beat him up, because I'm on probation, so I would get in trouble."

Only on the Blazers would someone make that remark. The reporter on this story really missed the point, though, when he or she did not ask Ruben, "Say you weren't on probation, you would have dropped him with a left jab or a right cross?'' What's next from Ruben. "He's lucky they have metal detectors at the door of the practice facility, or I would have brought a gun."

At least the Timberwolves should be able to move right through Portland in the first round of the playoffs, thereby getting KG into the second round. And next year, Portland can apply for admittance into the Oregon Penal League.