Bride and Prejudice

By Natasha Gupta

My parents agreed to get married after knowing one another for 30 minutes. In the time it takes me to finish an episode of "Parks and Recreation," do a load of laundry or wait in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, my parents met, chatted over a cup of tea and consented to spend the rest of their lives together. They've now been married for 27 beautiful years, getting to know each other better every day. 

With a mom married at 19, a grandma married at 17 and another grandma married at 15, I'm 21, unmarried and starting a new trend, for better or for worse. As a bright-eyed Indian girl finishing college, I am not oblivious to the entire subcontinent of people who would love to see me married. 

Just two weeks ago at a family function, four pious elderly women prayed I find a nice husband quickly. A week after that, a friend's mom vocalized a critical timeline for my marital future: aggressively husband-searching at 23, dating for two years, married at 25 and kids by 30. "You can always pursue your career and go to school," she claimed, "but the window to starting your family is very narrow." Not surprisingly, in the past six months I have been set up twice. 

Here's the thing. I would like four religious women to pray that I attend the world's best business school. I would like to turn 22 before being bombarded with marriage pressures. I would like my friends' moms to stop forcing me to learn how to cook for my future husband. I would also love to see a Disney movie where the girl does not solely exist to meet Prince Charming, get married and live happily ever after. I would pay absurd amounts of money for Walt Disney to rename it "Snow White and the Seven Startups." Why can't Cinderella pursue her Ph.D. in computer science with a minor in astrophysics and fall in love at lab one day?

I've seen arranged marriages fail and flourish; who is to say what really works? But what I've taken away from my American-Indian upbringing shaped by equally damaging romantic comedies and Bollywood movies is this: long-lasting love can come in unexpected forms. The key is to be open to the elder generation meddling once in a while, and keeping your head on straight.