Candidates Less than Promising

By Julie Herman

As early as November, I knew I wanted none of the U.S. presidential candidates to become the leader of the country. Even if I had supported all of Barack Obama's campaign promises, I still wouldn't be thrilled with his anemic implementation. Then, during the debt crisis, he completely lost my faith with his ineffectual leadership.

I hoped the Republican Party would field someone I wouldn't feel dirty about voting for — a smart moderate who might have a chance to pull both parties together. Unfortunately, it seems that either no such individual wants to risk their political capital against an incumbent, or the mood of the country isn't right for the rise of a peacemaker. Instead, we got the dregs of the GOP.

First there was Michele Bachmann, with her praying-the-gay-away husband. Maybe she is a smarter version of Sarah Palin, but sadly still in the same category..But I couldn't vote for her even if I wanted to, since she dropped out of the race.

So did Herman Cain, the neophyte who thought we should base our tax system on the default economic setting for a virtual reality game and thought that quoting a Pokémon movie was a suitable farewell statement. He would probably run the United States of America like he ran his pizza chain (although I wouldn't mind if the U.S. had a $7 buffet option every Tuesday).

Rick Perry will also fall soon — the U.S. electorate may like down-to-earth, devout folks as leaders, but it remains uncomfortable with the idea of the head of state looking like an elementary school child giving a book report for the first time.

The media has declared a "Santorum Surge" after Rick Santorum took second place in the Iowa caucus. I like politicians who stick to their guns as much as the next voter, but when those guns are shooting at the LGBT community, implying their value to be next to that of pedophiles, I turn and run.

I wanted something good to happen to Jon Huntsman, since he seemed like the best of the not-Romney lot. Unfortunately, he has about zero charisma — something necessary to winning political capital and mending ties abroad. Even if that weren't an issue, he still came in a distant third in New Hampshire, and dropped from the race.

Then there's Newt Gingrich, frontrunner Romney's only legitimate challenger. He's an arrogant, nasty, entitled man — my father suggested voting for him on the grounds that he would terrify half the nation into getting work done and blackmail the other half.

Finally, the tide of opinion seems to be turning slowly to Mitt Romney, the man who ran before and lost, the rich boy who could take John Kerry in a flip-flopping contest. I may be persuaded to pick Romney, but only as the lesser of the evils.

Julie Herman is a sophomore biology major.