Confessions of a college escape artist

By Ryan Amante

It happens on party nights. It happens on weekends. It even happens in the relative safety of my own dorm room.

It is the need to escape. Escape what? Well, everything.

I feel like my entire world is structured around the need for constant, immediate release from whatever I might be engaging in at the time. What I mean by this is that everything around me at first seems to be relief from one action, but turns out to be yet another cage that I desire to flee from.

Halloween turned out to be one of those nights.

I'll admit, I've used partying as an attempt to remove myself from the stress of school before. It was a way for me to be carefree for a few hours, regardless of the splitting headache I knew was waiting for me in the morning.

This Wednesday night was different. I didn't feel like going out. I wanted to remove myself from the party scene temporarily, and take some breathing room for an evening.

My friends, of course, were doing their friendly best to drag me out by my ears. But I was so tired of the drinking, the wandering around on the streets and the late-night Bronco runs to alleviate my drunken munchies.

I went back to my room and put my running shoes on. Then I went downstairs, turned on my iPod and started running. I felt the relief of not being out and drinking, not succumbing to pressure and not forcing my body to do something it just wasn't willing to do.

It was like all of the stress left my shoulders as I ran, dodging the various Soulja Boys, schoolgirls, referees, devils, firefighters, hippies, Peter Pans and professional athletes.

I often use other methods of escape. Sometimes it's blasting my music down the hallway, taking a nighttime stroll through campus or even shutting the door, lying on my couch and closing my eyes to the world.

What is it that drives this strange desire?

We all have it. We've all needed to get away from something, or someone. I'm leveling blame on American culture as a whole.

Coming from a Filipino-American background, I can see how the two cultures clash rather steadily. On one hand, I have the laid-back, relaxed Filipino culture. On the other, I have the American customs that dictate that everything moves quickly, planning out my days for me and leaving little room for maneuverability.

I realize that I'm not happy unless I'm escaping, unless I'm doing something that breaks this constant, hurried rhythm that is my American life.

Maybe this need to escape will stop when I find something I can focus all of my time and energy on, on my own terms.

Maybe.

Ryan Amante is a sophomore marketing major.