Cutting the cord from Mom and Dad

By Editorial

Finally. College. After months of planning, the day arrived when you packed your bags and left the comforts of home for the non-comforts of the university dorms. Whether you cried your eyes out as you waved your last goodbye to Mom and Dad or you hoped they wouldn't let the door hit them on the way out, you can't deny the power of the independence college brings.

Admittedly, college doesn't bring absolute freedom. Most students are still very dependent upon their parents for a variety of reasons. In that way, college offers a smooth transition between life as a kid and life as an adult, between the protections of home and the realities of the real world. And one of the best things you as freshmen can do for yourselves as you embark on this exciting journey that is college is to recognize what a great gift this semi-independence is, and to take advantage of it.

And the best way to do this is to cut the cord from Mom and Dad.

Make your own class schedule, enrolling in courses that you find interesting -- courses that you can see yourself actually engaging in. After all, you are the one who will have to show up a couple times a week, not your parents. Their class choices need not be yours.

Resist the urge to choose a course of study only because you feel it will make your parents proud. Your parents want you to be happy, and you can't be happy sacrificing four years (and possibly later, a career) so that your parents will pat you on the back. Choose a major that will help you become whatever it is that you want to become.

It only naturally follows that students will get better grades in classes that they enjoy. But, of course, there are exceptions. Remember that, essentially, your grades are your business, unless you offer to tell your parents about your academic achievements and failures. In either case, advise your parents to skip calls to professors, department chairs and college deans. Any academic problems should be dealt with by you, the student. You're old enough now to manage your own GPA.

The college experience, though, includes much more than academics. Social life is of paramount importance. Arguably, the social environment here on the university campus was one of the major factors that swayed your decision to come here. And just as you need to assert your sovereignty with regards to academics, so, too, do you need to take responsibility for your own social life.

This may sound ridiculous, but you'd be surprised at how many students join clubs and attend lecture series, sports games and other events on the aggressive recommendation of their parents. Their input is awesome and should factor into your decision-making process when it comes to developing your social networks. But should never eliminate the decision-making process when it comes to developing your social networks. Get involved in activities and join clubs that you have chosen, not those that your parents would have chosen.

This isn't to say that you should forget about your parents completely. You'd be hard pressed to find a parent that wouldn't be curious about their child's college experience and wouldn't love to hear from their child. Call them, write them, share with them. But take ownership of this college experience as your experience, not theirs.

Above all, cherish this time and newfound freedom. Embrace it, and enjoy it. Make the next four years ones you and your parents can look back on favorably, four years you can remember as a time that you took for yourself to grow into whoever it is you will become.