Dating 'Generation Apathy'

By David Wonpu

Being young has its advantages. Fast metabolisms can easily process the gobs of cholesterol inhaled at Denny's at two in the morning, bodies can run at an above average rate on nothing but three hours of sleep and a Red Bull, and pants without an elastic waistband still fit.

Responsibilities seem far enough away on the horizon to look the other way, with second chances aplenty.

And with experience not yet accumulated and diplomas not yet earned, all that is asked is to wait. Wait for the right time, because it isn't now. Wait for the right place, because it isn't here. As such, when it comes to dating, "Generation Apathy" is ill-equipped to deal with the concept of relationships.

At this very moment, the phrase, "You're the kind of person I would marry, but not date" is being skillfully delivered by faux bohemians at trendy coffee shops across the country. These Urban Outfitted individuals then walk away, sipping their green tea Frappuccinos, ready for the next party with music from obscure artists they only pretend to know.

Follow this logic: Dating is not about finding someone to marry. Marriage and dating are completely separate institutions. You can fool around as much as you want and, when you're ready to settle down, there will still be someone worth settling down with.

There's really nothing quite like dumping someone because they're marriage material. It's like saying, "Yeah, I hate myself, and you're exponentially better than me. But guess what? I'm dumping you for that exact reason.

However, the problem with this logic is that it's stupid. Like movies based on TV shows. Like SoCal bands continuing to adhere to the time-honored practice of name-dropping The Smiths in their liner notes as if "How Soon Is Now" hasn't been the theme song on "Charmed" for the past six decades.

But things which aren't meant to last usually don't, and behaviors are easily learned yet terribly difficult to break.

You'd honestly like to believe you can live a certain way until you turn 26 and then turn around and live another way.

You're far more likely, however, to end up being that 45-year-old fat dude at the club with a too tight, unbuttoned dress shirt or the ornery lady at Target who speaks like the characters on "Sex and the City" because watching it is all she does. In the interim, the totally-dumpable-yet-marriage-caliber individuals you passed up have now found each other.

If you're not ready, don't drag someone else into your dank cave of neuroses. It's sadist, inhuman and inhumane. And it only hurts you in the end.

David Wonpu is a junior accounting major.