Dating scene on campus has yet to see much action

By Justin Manger

When is the last time you've been on a date? If you're like most Santa Clara students, it was so long ago, you probably can't remember. I have a hard time understanding this lack of courting on our campus.

At first glance, you would think Santa Clara would be the last place something like this would happen.

For one, we are college students, and are all bound by certain fundamental realities, including a general (and often strong) dislike of schoolwork and other such tedious responsibilities, frustrations with parents, a love of having fun in the reckless and wild ways only us co-eds can enjoy, confusion on any number of deeply-rooted philosophical and interpersonal issues and of course, incessantly raging hormones.

By simply being in a college environment, we are immersed with the opposite sex. Never again will most of us have this kind of opportunity to meet so many attractive members of the opposing gender.

Couple this with the inordinate amount of time devoted both to talking about the opposite sex in gender-specific confines and the sheer amount of energy the average 20-something focuses on romance-related ventures, and you've got a pretty complicated puzzle.

What is it that, in a relatively large group of generally good-looking young people, oftentimes separates the XXs from the XYs in our quaint university community? One of the possible explanations I have observed is a general social reluctance on our campus.

The most descriptive example of this is the notorious "poker-face" scenario: A guy makes the effort to strike up a conversation with a girl he likes, the girl is very polite and listens or responds to what he says, and the guy will go away from the exchange having absolutely no clue about what kind of impression he made - good or bad.

This all-too common interaction at social gatherings (which I certainly acknowledge goes both ways gender-wise) causes an overall feeling of ambiguity and confusion between the two sexual camps - something that ends up stopping a lot of relationships before they have a chance to start at Santa Clara.

Another head-scratcher I've observed is a sort of paradox of wants between the genders. I have overheard a number of different girls claim that all guys want is sex, and because of that they of course can't let themselves get involved in a relationship with no real connective basis.

While it is undeniably true there are a number of guys at Santa Clara who are single-minded tools, the inevitable focus on the jackasses of the male population here understandably makes girls lose sight of the fact that there are more than a few guys at Santa Clara who want more from a girl than to merely replicate a kind of feverish, rabbit-esque sexual practice.

Conversely, the decent guys look at whatever sexual attention tools do get just by being stupid and hormone-driven, and can logically conclude that college-age girls simply haven't figured out how to accurately discern a quality guy from a loser. Ah, what a tangled web we weave.

The possible explanations could go on forever, since love and what comes with it is still the most dumbfounding topic with which human beings have ever dealt.

Ultimately, I believe these points are extensions of the underlying cause behind Santa Clara's less-than-active dating scene: for an innumerable amount of reasons, most of us simply aren't ready psychologically to be involved in intimate relationships with any one person for a prolonged period of time. Think about it: how many of your friends's relationships been happy/stable (or even just heatlhy, for that matter).

If nothing else, we should enjoy the unique benefits that come with our college experience, and somehow try to make interactions between the genders a little more relaxed.

It's by being yourself, not dwelling on the various idiocies you perceive in the opposite gender, and most importantly just being open and able to see another person for what they are that, however unlikely it can seem at our age, all of the positive aspects of relationships are discovered.

In other words, it's not that big of a deal - just take the risk.