Empathy needed for service work

By Annie Rose Ramos

Santa Clara students are actively involved in helping the community, but can we really be empathetic and not just sympathetic? I recently got a chance to participate in a community service project for Mother's Day, where I explored this question further.

I had the privilege of spending my day at Commercial Street Inn, a homeless shelter for women -- many of whom were my age and had children of their own. At the shelter, I completed every task assigned to me for the Mother's Day brunch that we were helping to prepare, but, when it came time to sit and eat with the mothers and children, I became hesitant.

I felt sympathy for the women, and, at the same time, I was in awe at how courageously they were able to continue a life of uncertainty and instability. But I couldn't help but pass judgment on them. I couldn't comprehend their situation: they had dropped out of school and struggled to find jobs, and their decisions affected the lives of their children, who now struggle in a life of poverty and homelessness.

"Working with adults is challenging -- there is a reason to blame," said Kat McAvoy, Co-Director of the Santa Clara Community Action Program. "In many ways, it is easier to work with children because we view them as innocent."

My opinion of these women at Commercial Street Inn prohibited me from forming a genuine connection with them at the breakfast table that morning. I initially thought that the invisible barrier that separated us was formed by our differences, but I realized I was focusing so much on the burdens of their financial poverty that I was unable to see the other forms of wealth they had, such as the health and happiness of their children.

Katy Sulc, the program coordinator of New Beginnings, said that many people struggle to imagine themselves at a certain level of hardship -- and that was my problem at brunch. If I can't see myself in the faces of the poor that I work with, I will never have a genuine desire to care for or help them.

McAvoy believes that "you have to make yourself vulnerable, share things about yourself, and don't let thoughts overflow your mind. But it's difficult because everyone approaches relationships differently."

Community service is not only about fulfilling a task, but, according to McAvoy, it's about "stretching yourself, learning from a situation, seeing yourself from a different perspective, and, if you have a judgment or bias, questioning its validity."

Sulc believes "there's a way for everyone to find their niche in community service, to help someone, and to bring someone else up." As a student embarks on his or her service journey, it is necessary for him or her to enter into each situation knowing that not every community service opportunity is the right one.

McAvoy explains that advocacy work isn't just about meeting people with immediate needs -- it's about addressing why those needs are there and, also, how structural issues can be addressed to create a change. "You can't just go serve a meal," said McAvoy. "You need to take a step farther and ask why there is a need to practice advocacy work."

Community service is a two-part experience that allows you to make connections with those less fortunate than yourself while you are working. As she maintains her visits to Commercial Street Inn, Sulc finds herself asking, "How did I get lucky?"

Maybe it's better to ask how we all can utilize this luck to better the lives of others. McAvoy hopes we can "recognize the privileges we have, and with it comes the responsibility and duty to facilitate possibilities for others." We shouldn't volunteer for the sole purpose of helping others. Instead, the challenge is to see yourself in them. We must realize how fragile life can be and how susceptible we all really are to our luck running out.

Annie Rose Ramos is a sophomore English major.