Exploration of self helped with retreats

By Maryann Dakkak

I came to the sudden realization a few days ago that I'm growing up. I'm actually thinking things through and making wise judgements and honestly, this change in events has been very interesting and confusing for me.

This quarter, after seven months of convoluted relationships and following many interesting and non-constructive paths, I decided to dedicate my time and efforts to myself.

I spent spring break leading the Habitat for Humanity immersion trip to El Mirage, Ariz. The other 17 students and I became the most amazing support group I've ever been involved with on campus. Over the week our diversity let us open ourselves to each other and create an incredible trusting and comfortable dynamic. They still make my day any time I see them.

Five of them signed up for a 6:30 a.m. fitness class with me. And we started going to a homeless shelter on Tuesdays. We're not only maintaining our family but using our efforts to collaborate on service and expanding our knowledge.

The second weekend of school, I went to the Challenges Women's Conference about spirituality. It opened my mind to questions and contradictions in my spirituality and my actions. It made me really question where my heart is, and whether I listen to it enough.

So to answer this, I signed up for two weekend trips: Search Retreat and the Inter-faith Justice Weekend (IFJW) through Campus Ministry. Search Retreat was hard for me. It was very Catholic, and I often felt excluded because I don't know where I fit into religion at this point. But the small group reflections and personal time gave me an inlet to my own spirituality.

"Search helped me find myself, and IFJW helped me know what to do with myself," said a girl who went on both with me.

After being solidified by Search, IFJW brought people of all faiths together and instead of making separations, and made it obvious about how alike all faiths are in their deeper, core beliefs. It was an honest picture of how life is with an undercurrent of how faith believes reality should be.

So I learned where my heart wants me to go. It's an ongoing process. I have to sit and think and truly listen. I have to critically ponder why I do what I do. And although it makes life harder, I find it much more worthwhile.

So take a look at yourself, and look around at the resources around you. They're there!