Father of Sept. 11 victim reflects on experiences, need for compassion

By Michael Moeschler

Derrill Bodley lost his daughter Deora to the terrorist hijackers of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pa. nearly nine months ago. Since then, Derrill has spoken out about the need for a more compassionate and selfless world. Inspired by the memory of Deora, his passion has taken him from manicured green lawns of the White House to the war torn streets of Kabul, Afghanistan.

Last Wednesday, Derrill Bodley addressed students about his experiences in Afghanistan, the spirit of his daughter and the importance of music as a healing process.

TSC: I think it's important that not just the people that were at the event tonight got to hear your voice, I think its important that the rest of the university learn about your experiences in Afghanistan.

DB: We came into Kabul from the military airport, and on the way from the airport we saw the devastation of the wars, that had been going on for years and the bombing that had been recently done by the American military. When we got into Kabul, we spent five or six days visiting various kinds of situations.

The first experience was visiting families who had lost family members to U.S. bombing. Right in the middle of an intact neighborhood were these homes that had been obliterated. The people that were at home when the bombs dropped had died. Three of the family members came back to their home, they were the young siblings, and all of their parents and older breadwinning relatives had been wiped out while they were gone. One couple lost their 20-year-old son who was the only breadwinner in the family when a bomb dropped on the roof of the room where he was sitting. Now the mother and her children have to go into the street begging.

We also visited institutions such as schools and visited with civil engineers who said with the proper funding support, they could rebuild the country in an organized fashion and make it work. And I really had faith in them to do that at the time. We stayed with some people who were involved with the locally based Afghan non-governmental organizations (NGOs). We visited mining camps, the women's affair minister; we visited the U.S. consulate, and petitioned them on behalf of a woman who had been turned away because they said she was a beggar.

TSC: What was the most important thing you thought you learned when you were there? What did you take from that experience?

DB: There is a tremendous need for compassion and sharing in order to help people who are devastated by the condition of their country and by the individual terror they experienced. People whose families had been effected by the bombing, we really need to consider their plight, just as the American people have considered and helped my situation when I lost my daughter. That was what our trip was about. Raising the awareness of the world or the American people at least.

TSC: How can we bring your experience from Afghanistan and learning about compassion, how can we bring that message to Santa Clara University?

DB: Well, I think, odd enough, I hadn't really thought of it until you asked this question, but it's really because we had a similar kind of question asked of us when we went to Washington D.C. on April 20. The group I belong to is Peaceful Tomorrow, we went to Washington to advocate for peaceful solutions to world conflict. And we were just one of a huge number of diverse groups that was causing 100,000 people to be in DC. And we wanted the media to pay attention to our particular issue, but instead they paid attention to how nice we were.

Over half the media coverage was reporting on how the police were happy there had been no problems. It's more a problem of, and I hate to say this, but it appears that one of the issues is a matter of visibility. By you reporting this, we're doing what we hope to accomplish which is to raise awareness of the people to the point where they would take action. And join us in some respects in speaking out, if they actually are swayed or have convictions in the same area, and then to write and advocate to their representatives in the government and to tell the government that this is the will of the people. At this point we're considered to be a minority, but if we don't keep talking then the minority might diminish even worse and that's not the right thing to have happen as far as I'm concerned.

TSC: When you look at the people who fasted last week, is that an example of a way to get that vision out there?

DB: You heard me speaking to that one guy [sophomore Chris Hughes], I really didn't understand it until Christy [Lupo, senior] spoke about it in that way. And he said the same thing. He's giving a part of his life to this. And that symbolism for fasting explains it to me. I had never understood that before. Now I understand what they're doing.

They're giving a part of their life in a symbolic sense to this issue that they feel very strongly for. And that is absolutely wonderful.

TSC: There were people who protested against those that fasted. What is your response to the people who protested those that fasted?

DB: I want to say that I don't understand. Why you are so upset with what they are expressing? They have the right to express themselves, why are you so upset that you feel like you have to say something against them? I would want to have a discussion with them to find out what the misunderstanding is.

I'm not saying that I could convince them that the fasters are right and not necessarily that I could win any points with them, but I would want to understand why they disagree with me

TSC: Music plays a powerful role in your life. How does music help the healing process for you and for others?

DB: I think that it's hard to explain how music generically works that way. But it does seem to be able to offer people a way of emotional communication and emotional release that words don't.

Words can be misinterpreted and can be assumed to have some kind of specific meaning that is supposed to be gotten across, and very often it has been shown that people don't get the meaning that you think you are giving by saying specific words anyway. But, the definition of music, in certain respects, seems to offer an opportunity for a more generalized or "freer" kind of communication. One expects the general range of emotion and somebody gets it and responds with internal feelings of their own that are somewhat similar but not necessarily having to be exactly the same.

TSC: Did the people hear your message when you played at the White House?

DB: When I played this music for them at the White House, probably 15-20 percent of them got it. They came up to me afterwards, and said that was beautiful. The rest of them, the majority of them, were unaffected or didn't say anything. I will continue to play music, not for my own selfish purposes, but because it seemed to do a good thing for the people that were listening to it. That's why I'll keep playing music.

TSC: In an earlier article for TSC, you said that you were playing the piano and you heard Deora telling you that everything was going to be okay, that you should go to Afghanistan and meet these people. When you play music on the piano, do you still feel like she is there communicating with you.

DB: I still feel that that song ["Prayer for Peace"] was communicated to me. If you really want to know, one of the reasons why I went back to Shanksville [site of the plane crash] was so that I could be there where my daughter had been. And to quietly listen to hear what that place had to say for me.

TSC: What did you hear when you were there?

DB: It was basically, kind of like a reaffirmation, saying this is the right thing to do. Follow that path.

TSC: Where is that path taking you now?

DB: Well I was just talking to Media [Benjamin, head of Global Exchange] and apparently there is an opportunity to go back to Afghanistan, so I'll probably go back this summer for a few days.

TSC: Do you have other plans for the summer?

DB: This summer, I'm planning on being restful so I can do more listening, because this year has been very busy at school, but during the summer, I'm hoping I can have a chance to reverse the engines and listen to things as well as to share a little bit. If music comes to me I'll share it, if thoughts come to me, I'll share that, if people want to listen and it's still the right thing to do then I'll continue to do that.

TSC: Do you feel like you give a part of yourself to the people you speak to?

DB: If that's the way people see it then I think I'm doing my job because I can't be sure of that, but it seems to be the right thing to do, to try share that energy. They're giving me strength by being who they are. And if I can give them a little extra kind of energy jump by being there, by hugging them or touching them or helping them in some way then that's my job. Absolutely.

TSC: Is there anything you want to say to the people who weren't there tonight?

DB: I'm challenged every day. I sometimes feel bitternesses, or frustrations, or jealousies, or angers, that are really irrelevant at the end of the day. But, it's like they're there, and I'm working very hard on trying to get to the peacefulness within and also working very hard.

I'm looking for that inner peacefulness. I know I felt it very strongly when I came to certain conclusions and was able to accomplish certain things, with respect to Afghanistan and being able to speak about it and talk to people, and to be able to share and hug and things like that, like tonight, I'm still working on the same issues. Which I mentioned earlier, which is respect and love, peacefulness, and sharing.

Working on respect and love for all human beings by all human beings. Working on peacefulness within myself and within each human beings and working on sharing the resources of the world equitably among all people, all life and the world itself. And that's what I'm working on for myself, and I believe that's the right thing to do for me.