Gay athlete at Santa Clara speaks out

By Josh Griffin

Four days ago, the Denver Post published Colorado Rockies relief pitcher Todd Jones saying that he would not want a gay teammate. He proceeded to say that he wasn't 'afraid, but that [the gay teammate has] got rights or whatever, but he shouldn't walk around proud.'

Jones' comments came in a piece that attempted to compare real life professional baseball with that depicted in the Broadway play "Take Me Out," which tells the story of a Major League Baseball player coming out. Jones' comments are just the latest of a slew of anti-gay remarks being made in the world of professional sports since former Vikings defensive lineman Esera Tuaolo made his sexuality public.

Back on the campus of Santa Clara, all one unnamed female athlete is asking for is normalcy, for herself and hopefully for other gays and lesbians alike.

"I think equality is very important, but for me it is just so I can live my life normally as I have always planned to," said the athlete, who asked to remain anonymous to avoid becoming a "poster child." "I don't want to have to be conspicuous. It is not awkward for me and I hope that's the case for everyone else."

Since arriving at Santa Clara, she has worked to be open about her sexuality.

"When I came to Santa Clara, I made a conscious decision to be open about it because in other contexts I wasn't," she said. "I didn't want it to be a big deal, because it has been stressful keeping it in. It turned into more effort than I wanted to put in."

Not only did she look at it as a relief of a burden, but she also decided to forget about the impressions her sexuality would leave on others.

"I came here to play," she said. "I figured I would be open about it and everyone else can do whatever the hell they want to do with it."

Before arriving at Santa Clara, she spoke with her coach about possible means of dealing with the issue, to which her coach replied that she just be open. Being open, however, did not mean getting up and making a charismatic speech. It meant subtly mentioning the issue in passing conversation.

"I didn't avoid the issue," she said. "I would just say things about my girlfriend. I was just casual but confident about it. People gradually caught on and everyone has been understanding."

Not surprisingly, perhaps due to an overall lack of acceptance of the gay community in the United States, many people were new to addressing the issue.

"For a lot of people, it has been something that they have never dealt with. They all got comfortable with it, and my girlfriend goes out with us. It's not really a big deal."

Despite the acceptance that she has found, there remains a level of discomfort in people that are considering coming out as well.

"I have heard people at Santa Clara say that 'so-and-so' is gay or experimenting with this or that," she said. "There are not a lot of people that are out about it that I know of. If someone is questioning things, and think that they may be gay, they aren't going to come out."

As for the number of gays and lesbians in athletics, the very scenario that Jones openly questions, she does not have a real gauge on a number. She does, however, feel that her path may be slightly easier than one other.

"I would suspect that it would be harder to be a gay male on a team," she said. "That would be my suspicion."

She has discussed sexuality with another member of the Santa Clara athletic community who has questioned her own sexuality and is reserved as a result of the Catholic influence at Santa Clara.

"She said that she wouldn't want to come out here because it is a very Catholic school and that kids come here as Catholics with conservative ideas. That surprised me that she thought that people came here mainly for religious reasons, and I don't think she's necessarily right.

"I don't know about these religious things, because especially in sports, athletes are recruited from all over with different backgrounds. As a group, I wouldn't hold athletes as a strongly religious group."

Beyond the Santa Clara community, she is still in awe over the lack of acceptance that she has experienced and witnessed.

"At least from a politically correct vantage point, I figured most people would at least make themselves okay with it. I have been surprised at overt stereotypes that people say confidently when they don't know who they are surrounded by. I view it as the equivalent of racial slurs in public. It's one of the groups that it is still acceptable to bash."

And as for light at the end of the tunnel, she remains generally unconvinced.

"It has never been widely accepted, and there is not anytime that I can see where it will be accepted in the community."

Perhaps the first step towards acceptance, however, would be for sexuality to become a non-issue, just as in the past both racial and religious prejudices have been overcome.

"I don't want it to be a big deal. I've never been an activist - it's more of a part of my life. I don't visualize myself in a certain group."

As for Jones and the Rockies, the team stated Tuesday that Jones' commentary do not represent those of the organization, a statement with which Jones concurred. In his apology, Jones said, "I think my only mistake was that I made my views public. And for that, I apologize to the Rockies and I apologize to my teammates for putting them through this."

If Jones proves anything it all, it is that we have a long way to go until we move closer to universal acceptance.