Give your brain a rest; exercise your body instead

Spring Break is a week away and it's crunch time. So, whip out your Access cards and make your way over to the far side of campus, because the mats at Malley are just the place to grind your pounds and stresses away. There's something there for all of you.

Malley is an accessible space filled with a fine selection of exercise machinery. It has all the amenities of any top-quality fitness club: stairmasters, treadmills, elliptical machines and recumbent bikes (or "ass bikes," as some like to call them). Free weights and muscle building machines are also available. Basically, Malley has everything the average college student could want in an exercise facility, including numerous full-length mirrors. And the best part about it: It's free.

Attractive staff members and patrons only add to Malley's charm. In the off-season, it even beats out the Graham pool for the biggest flesh parade. On any given day, one can walk by the building's immense glass windows and peer in to view sweaty women spinning in spandex and post-practice athletes lifting the equivalent of their own weight in miniscule shorts. Scenery like that beats the library any day.

In the coming week, Malley can provide a perfect excuse for procrastination. It's a way to better yourself without the headaches or shoulder cramps associated with a sixteen hour stint on your laptop in a last desperate attempt for a decent grade. It gives you a forum to blow off steam, get out aggression, and think of what life will be like when you are buff enough to conquer the world. Overall, a great escape from a week of pain and misery. It will give you a chance to catch your body up with your brain.

- Written by Margaret Murray