Hard work the key to marriages

By Hallie McKnight

In a perfect world, a marriage in which two people vowed to spend the rest of their lives together should last forever, right? This is no longer the case for many Americans as the sanctity of marriage continues to wither away. It seems all too often we hear of couples divorcing, repeating excuses such as "I found out I married a complete stranger" to no end. On celebrity gossip shows divorce news is rampant, with divorce papers always mysteriously citing "irreconcilable differences" as the reason behind a celebrity couple's marital downfall.

According to divorcemag.com, "The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970." The divorce rate has since risen significantly; however, it is hard to determine exactly what it is and how it will change. As divorceform.org states, "There are many different valid measurements. Probably, 40 or possibly up to 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue. However, that is only a projection and a prediction. It does not reflect current reality or the recent past, and things certainly could turn out differently."

What are the causes of America's high divorce rate? It could be attributed to many factors in today's world, one of which is the so-called attention deficit syndrome that recent generations have developed. We become infatuated with something, then forget about it when we become bored of it because it breaks or something shiny catches our eyes. Maybe some people go into marriage thinking that it is not more of a commitment than any other casual relationship and that they can simply bail out of it when they do not feel like being married anymore. I suspect marriages that require a prenuptial agreement are doomed to fail before they begin. Why else plan for failure beforehand in such a legal and binding way? Why aren't the actual nuptials as carefully scripted as the bailout clause?

Those in the public eye are hardly good role models for marriage. Celebrity couples who remain together for the rest of their lives are a rarity and those who break up are almost applauded by the media because they boost magazine sales and viewership ratings. Take the divorce of couples like Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, or Jon and Kate Gosselin, whose high profile divorces nailed them countless magazine covers such as Us Weekly. Marriages in the celebrity world are fun, fabulous and fluffy, and people bail at the first sign of turbulence.

In real life, marriage is hard work. "I do" should be considered "I will." I will listen. I will trust. I will be your friend and remain your lover. I will not let your dirty socks on the floor or your tendency to be late become grounds for the end of the marriage. I will work to make this marriage work.

The economy is a huge stress on marriages, especially in its present distressed state. Money issues are a huge reason marriages fail. Infidelity, the death of a child or parent or relocations for work can also push a couple to their limit.

But if Americans have any hope of the divorce rate decreasing, or at least of leading happy and successful marriages, many people need to put aside the tendency to shy away from the hard work marriage demands to honor the commitment they made to each other before God and witnesses, no matter what the difficulty.

Hallie McKnight is a freshman studio art major.