Hunt for off-campus housing begins again

By David Dunch

TSC Sports Editor

Climbing Mount Everest. Surviving in Death Valley for more than a few days. Finding adequate off-campus housing around Santa Clara. What do these three tasks have in common? They are nearly impossible for the average person to accomplish.

Like every year, the time has come for lucky sophomores to begin their quest for the holy grail of the Silicon Valley - a place to live off campus. Besides, we all know that juniors who live on campus always end up in Sanfilippo Residence Hall anyway, and no one wants to be subjected to that torture.

Last year I had to go through the agony of looking for livable off-campus housing. The process made me a bit stronger, a bit wiser, and much more bitter towards life. So I feel it is my duty to impart some wisdom on my Santa Clara brethren in how to deal with this unique problem.

First, start your search early. By early I don't mean August. Start yesterday. You never want to be one of those guys - and there are always some who start looking for housing around Memorial Day and still have no clue where they are going to live, even as they take their last final. Don't put yourself through that - your head might explode.

Second, make sure you can really live with the people who you choose to live with. It may sound like a great idea to have an ever-present keg in the living room or a mud wrestling pit in the backyard, but once those first midterms roll around you may start to wonder if you've made the right roommate decision.

Third, make sure your landlord isn't out to screw you. Check for any problems with ants, spiders, rats, raccoons, bison and finally, his unemployed nephew Larry. You don't want to be sharing a room with any sort of creature (Larry included). Make sure the place has running water (even if the water is brown, it's okay, you can work with that), and that your electricity does not depend on the Aurora Borealis. Make sure you don't live next door to a crack house (unless you're into that sort of thing) or a whorehouse (again, unless you're into that sort of thing).

So now you think you've found your place? Wrong! Landlords are very cagey. They are apt to change their minds more frequently than Elizabeth Taylor says, "I do." So be prepared to do the whole process all over again, and again, and once more for good luck.

David Dunch is a junior communication major.