Kat's Pajamas

By Kat McGuire

I've come to believe that almost everyone has experienced a moment of rejection that, when remembered, leaves him or her feeling inadequate, lonely or (in my case) bitter. I still can't look at a girl in a prom dress without seething.

I had my dress picked out for years. It was going to be white and I was going to wear flowers in my hair. I was certain the boy I planned on asking, Mr. Anti-Establishment, would understand the monumental importance I placed on this event, and be my date despite his issues with me and with social gatherings. After all, we had been together consistently (if rather tumultuously) for three years. When I asked him, he bluntly refused me and two days later asked a girl he barely knew who he said would be a "fun" and "simple" date. The antithesis of me, I suppose. Meanwhile, my best friend Melia (one of the kindest, smartest and most beautiful people I've ever met) was rejected as a prom date in favor of a girl who was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, mean-spirited and clad in a scanty leopard-print dress. The guy's reasoning? The leopard-print girl would get drunk and perhaps get it on with him afterward; he knew Melia wouldn't. I know - neither guy sounds like much of a prize. But the truth is, we cared about them and thought they cared about us, and it hurt to find out that they valued a night of effortless "fun" over our feelings.

I've thought about this experience a lot recently as I've struggled to understand why people act the way they do in relationships. One thing I've realized is we rarely know what motivates other people because so often they don't know themselves. There are a lot of things that go on inside people that we never see. I know that when I meet someone I have the urge to warn him that I come with a lot of emotional baggage. I wish I had a book that chronicled every event in my life so that if I do something weird to the poor guy, I can simply whip out the book, point to the Prom Rejection experience and say, "This is why I'm afraid to trust you. It's about me, not you."

Kat McGuire is a sophomore English/sociology major.