Pain an unconventional escape from emotion
By Gina Yarber
The cold metal stung my hand and gave me a sense of control. Slowly, I moved the pair of scissors and cut a deep gash along my arm. I was disassociated from my emotions as I continued to cut deep, painless wounds. Suddenly, the gush of red blood dripping down my arms brought me back to reality.
My chilling experience is what is commonly known as cutting. Cutting, or self-mutilation, is an escalating problem and taboo topic that affects approximately two million Americans. People of all statuses, backgrounds and religions may self-mutilate, but most cutters are female. Since cutting is such a serious issue, it is important for everyone to understand and deal with it in order to help those of us suffering from the disorder.
Loosely defined, cutting is "an act of self harm without suicidal intent." Cutters use scissors, razors, knives or any other type of abrasive metal to damage their skin. But why do we resort to such a self-destructive act?
In order to understand this, you have to get into the mind-set of a self-mutilator.
One cause of cutting is a disturbed childhood. Children learn from what they have experienced and from interaction with parents. If children grow up in an environment where they are either verbally or physically abused, they accept the abuse as a normal part of life. Thus, as they grow and are feeling troubled, they may resort to self-destructive behavior because it gives them a sense of normalcy or comfort.
Another major cause of self-mutilation is depression and anxiety. As a matter of fact, these were the causes of my own cutting. I had deep and troubled emotions, and I was looking for a means of expressing my inner turmoil. An excerpt from a journal that I kept during my bout with depression reads, "Currently, I am encompassed in a world of fear and unrest. My mind races, my heart beats wildly and I cannot think clearly. I feel anger, disappointment, discontent and a deep sadness that penetrates my soul. I am falling deeper and deeper down a dark hole moving closer to the bottom."
I hit bottom the night that I was alone and grabbed scissors out of my desk drawer.
Like other cutters, I was able to relieve my pain and realize that I was still alive by seeing the blood drip from my body. In essence, the act of cutting is a cry for help and an outward symbol of the inner pain and despair that the self-mutilator is experiencing.
Sadly, treating this disorder is very difficult because victims have so many past experiences, inner conflicts and pressures with which to cope. However, recent studies have shown that antidepressants can be effective in certain situations. Perhaps the most effective treatment is intense therapy and the love and support of family and friends.
I was able to deal with my problems by attending therapy and by being supported by several friends and family. I had a strong support network to turn to, and it kept me focused and on the path to recovery.
Unfortunately, not all cutters are so lucky. Many do not receive the much-needed assistance that can only come from those around them. This is why it is so important for everyone to understand that cutting is a serious disorder that requires intervention. Unless people realize this, cutters will not and cannot recover. Ã
û Gina Yarber is a freshman psychology major.