Preparing for another Raiders' fan celebration

By Bruce Martinez

An open letter to the beautiful people that comprise Raider Nation:

As your Oakland Raiders prepare to enter their first Super Bowl as Oakland Raiders since 1980, I implore you to behave in a civilized manner. This is big news for you and I am sure you will all commemorate it with a new multicolored cave painting - as you certainly should. Celebrating a Super Bowl for the East Bay is big news. Those silly 49er fans really are tired of dwelling on their five titles - all five won since the last time the Oakland Raiders reached the pinnacle.

Remember while celebrating this week that you should not put off normal behaviors that bring you basic human dignity. You should at least feed your children on the floor under the kitchen table and maybe even reconsider the benefits of a good public school education for them.

If you feel the need to riot, please limit it to the liquor stores of East 14th street. Do not cross high street into Alameda lest the good people there find it necessary to call in the National Guard.

For those of you traveling to beautiful San Diego for the game, keep in mind that if the Raiders should happen to win the game the police will probably find it unacceptable for you to fire handguns into the air.

If you choose, however, to have a demolition derby I am sure the police will condone it as long as it takes place within the confines of your own trailer parks.

If you must urinate in public, try to find a tree or a car to shield the offensive spray from the general populace.

If you use grease paint instead of spray paint for your faces it will come off easier and leave less scarring - unless you had the scars in the first place. Who is to say?

Lastly, be calm and be safe - and if you end up in jail, say hello to your long-lost friend Darrell Russell.

Cheers,

andnbspandnbspandnbspandnbsp BE Martinez