Reach out to fellow students
By Annie Rose Ramos
Three weeks ago, I arrived in London for my semester abroad with two suitcases and one carry-on full of shoes, coats and other clothing essentials. Little did I know that I had to travel five thousand miles to learn how to make friends without the inhibitions and social criteria I held on to so dearly at Santa Clara.
Arriving in London, I was stripped of the social baggage I had proudly carried on campus at Santa Clara. Upon arriving at my London flat, I quickly made judgements of my roommates, and assessed where I would fit in. I assumed we would have segregated rooms because, at Santa Clara, people stick to their own crowds, and never stray from their same social circles. We tend not to branch out, which leads to cliques.
The foreign aspect of London, its diversity, large population and energy as a city, allowed me to gain perspective and see the unimportance of Santa Clara social mores. We were no longer viewed as the rich girl, the poor girl, the fashion guru, the sorority girl or the bookworm; we were all grouped, and identified as one thing -- Americans.
As American students we all faced the same challenges of culture shock and struggled to become accepted by a world who looked at us with skeptical eyes. For once, we were the ones being judged. Over the past three weeks, I have been forced to make friends. I have been forced to dispose of initial formalities when confronting new friendships and, instead, rely on my flatmates, who are still practically strangers, for extra toothpaste, a few pence, directions on the tube or a companion in travel. It is a lot to ask of a newly formed friendship, and I felt uneasy doing so.
I was left with a humbling task -- to tear down my initial impressions of people and be open to anyone's friendship. It was an intimidating and uncomfortable task to readily extend my friendship. During my freshman year I didn't find many opportunities to meet people outside of Wednesday parties, and after the first month, all groups of friends were chosen.
I have seen my London roommates before at parties, in Benson or in class, but I would have gone through my entire career at our university without meeting these great people solely because people at Santa Clara rarely approach others outside their group. In London, I've realized that I have missed out on meeting people at Santa Clara because of my misjudgments and inhibitions.
At Santa Clara, people had to pass my rigorous test to gain my friendship as if it were a privilege. In London, I didn't have this choice. I realized that while on campus at Santa Clara, we are often socially inept, and do not take the initiative to meet people. It is unfortunate that it took a long plane ride, jet lag, two suitcases and one carry-on to find out, much to my surprise, that we Santa Clara students actually do get along.
Annie Rose Ramos is a junior English major and is currently studying abroad in London.