Seniors forbidden celebration
By Maggie Beidelman
Santa Clara, Calif. -- Only wealthy seniors will be able to celebrate graduation at Santa Clara this year, said a study by Pennies for Students, a fake organization made up by this author to further her stance on unfair student expenses.
Students who are graduating into the worst economic state since the Great Depression, who are given little hope of post-graduation employment and who have already shelled out a few bucks shy of $170,000 in a private college tuition -- that's a $7,000 per year increase in the past four years -- have, as a consequence, been denied the typical celebratory graduation festivities -- unless they already have a significant portion of wealth to dispense.
Only one day after receiving the first informational e-mail regarding graduation and the June 13 picnic, these unfortunate seniors received an e-mail requesting donations for the senior class gift and an invitation to the Oct. 1 class reunion.
"A senior gift and a first reunion? What happened to savoring the separation, just for a little bit?" asked senior Meghan Mooney.
After nearly 12 quarters, upward of 48 classes, thousands of hours spent studying and too many miserable days hungover in class, this year's seniors were given 24 hours to consider the much-deserved graduation picnic, and then they were asked for donations.
Just go to www.scu.edu/give, the seniors were told. More like www.scu.edu/martyr.
To add to the misery of their skinny, about-to-graduate-private-college wallets, seniors were asked to fork out $125 this year for their coveted Senior Ball -- a $50 increase from last year's dance.
"At least we don't have to pay for a hotel this year," some seniors said in response to the increase, happy to be bussed home in the early morning hours after the dance amidst drooling sleepers and yak-happy drinkers.
At least the university is catering to some seniors, argued the much-envied accounting majors who have already secured jobs and attended the "A Day on the Golf Course" senior life series this past week.
For those seniors who are not affected by the failed economy or the obscene amount of money their families have sacrificed to send them to Santa Clara, they can purchase a canvas embroidered Santa Clara senior tote bag with complementary reusable grocery bag for only $30. Visit the senior class table for details.
It's not that I don't want to give back to the community that has fostered some of my greatest personal growth.
But, give us a bit of room to breathe, Santa Clara. Allow us the time and finances to celebrate the conclusion of some of the best and most difficult years of our lives. After all, we've got quite the climb ahead of us.