Sports editor revives MLB aspirations

By Josh Griffin

I used to think that the closest I'd ever get to professional baseball was my annual attempt to acquire Sammy Sosa on all my fantasy baseball teams. That all changed Tuesday, when I returned to the diamond, suiting up for Dog House in intramural softball competition.

I have now decided to declare myself available for the MLB June Amateur Draft. Since I have been under the scouting radar since my retirement from the game in third grade, I wanted to make my announcement public. For all the scouts that missed the game - I think only 12 teams were represented - here are my qualifications as a can't miss prospect.

- While I started 0-for-3 from the plate, with one double play, I broke out in the fifth inning with a rally saving rope to center.

- Despite the fact that the first baseline is only 30 feet, rather than 60 feet in pro ball, I was clocked from home to first just a hair slower than Ichiro's average. Ichiro gets to first in 3.9 seconds. Myself - 6.5 seconds. The inhalator I used at first was just a prop.

- I was unable to show my blazing speed on the basepaths once I reached base. Santa Clara intramurals has a strict "no base-stealing" policy.

- I manned second base with the soft hands of Cubs great Ryne Sandberg. I even almost turned a double play. Just ask the guy that got hit in the head in the dugout behind first.

I'm a regular five-tool talent with unlimited upside. After a 10-year layoff, imagine how much better it will get than the 1-5 and two errors on Tuesday.

One more thing: considering my promising journalism career, which will undoubtedly yield me millions, I will demand no less than a $2 million signing bonus and a major league contact out of the draft. If you're not interested in that, I'm not interested in you.