Stressed out, still going strong?

By Christopher DaCosta

For the past week, every time I walk past the cherub-adorned fountain outside Sobrato I have the strangest urge to violently hurl my cell phone into the depths of its choppy waters. I'm chalking it up to a melange of temporary insanity and the fact that I have three midterms, a quiz and two major assignments due next week.

While steering clear of all outdoor water cascades, I've noticed other disturbing stress-induced trends in not only my own behavior, but everyone else's too. After my usual pre-9:15 a.m. tête-à-tête with Jigglet, the gossipy squirrel from the east side of campus, I swear everyone stares at me like I'm some sort of smelly whale. So my clothes don't match â€" I was never a morning person. Besides, Jigglet thinks I'm a walking fashion god.

Anyway, I've made it painfully obvious that stress is an issue on our carefully manicured campus; it makes us do crazy things including, but not limited to, vivid hallucinations and paranoia.

No matter how many times a day the perennial shrubbery outside Graham is replanted or the lawn in front of Orradre is mowed, I know I often feel unsettled, frightened and overcome with 'all-nighter-nausea,' a malady often attributed to the heady blend brewed at Mission Bakery. It might have something to do with my nocturnal habitsâ€" my computer insists I appease the AIM gods by making sacrifices of some sort, even if it is my sleep and valuable homework time. Besides, my senses are suddenly heightened when the halls empty out and the only thing I can hear is the swift sound of caffeine surging through my veins and the droning of the generator powering those ugly, residence hall fluorescent lights.

Oftentimes, I am so beleaguered that all I can do is watch CSI or go to sleep and con myself into thinking that I will wake up at 6:30 a.m. to complete a rudimentary analysis of the ties between all ancient Greek tragedians. Even worse is when my body deceives me. "That's right, Chris, it's only 4:43 a.m. â€" you can take a 15 minute nap and then wake up to finish researching; all you have to do is type it out and you'll be set to turn it in at 8:00 a.m.," it coaxes. Before I realize that I've been duped, I'm snoring away, unaware that I will sleep past my quarter hour limit.

In the past, I've found that a simple and clinically approved three-step method works best for me; in situations of stress, I simply stop, drop and roll. Okay, perhaps it isn't clinically approved, but if it's going to save me when I'm consumed by flames, I'll be darned if it doesn't work when my anxiety flares up.

If you consider the stop, drop and roll method to be a little too unconventional for you, you might want to refer to Scene's latest gathering of stress busters as well as appropriate study skills and sleep management tips so you can bone up for your midterms without drama. In addition, we have our routine sampling of movie and music reviews to take your mind away from the paper you're supposed to be writing.

Contact Christopher DaCosta at (408)554-4546 or cdacosta@scu.edu.