Students Gulp Down the Grade
By Michael Rosa
College has long been considered the place to leave inhibitions at the door, usually the door of your parents' station wagon or the plane on your first ever one-way flight. But often students are recommended, if not required, to keep those inhibitions in place when they step through a certain door - particularly the classroom door. Being drunk in the classroom is a topic that often goes unmentioned.
The first time Steven Marden*, a political science major, showed up drunk to class was during his first quarter, after attending an afternoon fraternity event. His hangover took over halfway through the class. "I was sitting there just dying and dying and dying," he said.
When he went to turn in a paper, his professor said he smelled vodka and asked Marden if he had alcohol in his bottle. Marden said his bottle only contained the sport drink, but that he had a little too much to drink earlier. "(My professor) said 'I'm not even mad, I'm just impressed.' He kind of just gave me a pat on the back and said 'it happens, don't worry about it,'" Marden said.
According to the Alcohol Beverage policy in the Santa Clara University Handbook for 2011-2012, "Alcoholic beverages shall not be served or consumed in public areas of the university except at authorized university events."
Marden was not technically in violation of the school's drinking policy since he did not consume the alcohol in the classroom.
On a separate occasion, Marden had a final on St. Patrick's Day. Marden placed a beer can and ice inside a large Pepsi cup. He sipped on the beer while taking his final.
After turning in the final, he decided to make a grand exit. "I walked up and said, 'St. Patty's Bitches!' " before taking a swig of whiskey. "I actually got an A in that class," he said.
While not a participant in the act, junior communication major Alexa Chandler* witnessed multiple accounts of classroom drinking as well, especially in night classes. "I had multiple classes where people were pregaming in class," Chandler said. "People would show up to class all dressed up to go out, so it was like a really formal drinking party."
In the Santa Clara University Handbook for 2011-2012, "An alcohol violation is considered to be a high-risk violation in the following circumstances, but not limited to: possession or consumption of alcohol when under the legal drinking age, disorderly conduct such as verbally abusive or lewd behavior, excessive consumption of alcohol...(and) excessive intoxication."
Marden managed to perform a significant portion of high-risk violations as an underclassman.
At the end of spring quarter his sophomore year, Marden and a classmate decided to split an 18-rack of beer hidden in a backpack. The goal was simple: finish the 18-rack before the 65 minute class ended. They'd crack open their beers as students searched for the source of the sound, and continued on their way through ounce after ounce, getting thoroughly drunk.
On his ninth and final beer, the professor thought Marden had raised his hand and called on him. "The only thing that came out was the biggest burp of my life, and she just goes 'wow,'" he said. After apologizing, he burped again before realizing he had to throw up, and ran to the bathroom. "I started puking my guts out," Marden said, telling himself he would never drink in class again. "It has not happened since - lesson learned."
Contact Michael Rosa at mrosa@scu.edu.