Students suffer from bad habit

By Jaime Ellison

I heard once that in order to write a quality piece of journalism, I am actually supposed to get out of my chair and delve into the world of field research.

Just a little trick of the trade. Although I am not a Communication major, I decided to take this bit of top-secret advice and apply it to this little column.

Last weekend, I set out to a party with the high hopes of uncovering the art of binge drinking - with the sole purpose of conducting research, of course.

Because the night went a little awry, mostly because of the field research I did, the interviews were conducted the next day, post-party. And the next day and the next. As the week wore on, I received many new pieces of information, and the story developed into ...

What I Know Now About the Power of Binge Drinkers by Jaime Ellison

We've all seen that sorry person at the party, who has obviously been binge drinking. What you don't know is that this person might actually be useful to you.

Throughout my extensive research, I discovered not only the power of binge drinking, but more importantly, the power of the binge drinker. Assuming the drinker can still carry on a conversation, you may learn some valuable life lessons.

During my interview with sophomore Alison Bettles, I learned that I had instilled in her the underlying truth about the male sex throughout the course of what is said to be a deeply meaningful conversation.

Additionally, three people have approached me this week, telling me how excited they are about my Friday night promise to be in each of their eventual weddings, one of which I am evidently coordinating as well.

Later that week, I received four homemade cards under my door thanking me for another bit of love advice, a secret family recipe, my personal Top 100 Fun Things To Do In Albuquerque list, and a final thank you for a wonderful night on the dance floor.

So next time you see that certain person, or group of people at a party, say hi and you could be the lucky one to benefit from their wisdom. On second thought, considering they probably won't remember any of it, perhaps you should just escort them home.