The importance of family prevails
By Maryann Dakkak
I am a student, I am a friend, I am a housemate, I am a progressive volunteer, I am a sister, I am a daughter. These are just a few of my identities in the priority order they usually go in on campus. This weekend challenged me a little in that.
My grandmother just had a massive heart attack. She's alright, but she's in the hospital and waiting for a triple bypass surgery. To top it off, my grandfather is going blind and she was the one taking care of him. And - they're in Monaco.
I've lost people in my life. Three people very close to me, and all died suddenly. This is the first time I have to sit by and watch while people I love lose their ability to do things, or see things they love. And my priorities change. My student status no longer comes in first. I can't finish my work the way I should be able to. Instead I become a granddaughter, a daughter, a sister, a foreigner. France has always been my second home, but only because they are there; what will France be to me without them, without that home to go to?
Fortunately, I'm able to leave Friday when school ends to go home (to Sacramento) so that my mom can leave to go to Monaco. I'm the oldest of four children and she can't leave until I come home. My whole family is going to France for the summer, so I will get to see them. And I've never missed them or wanted to see them as badly as I do now.
Which brings me to an important point. Who do you miss? There are people I miss, three in particular who I can never see again. It's crazy to think that that number will grow - and sooner than I wish. Meanwhile, I realize there's quite a few people that I miss who are right here.
People seem so much more important when you're losing them. So I'm reevaluating who I miss and trying not to take for granted the beautiful people around me. There's an entire graduating class - most of whom I will never see again. There are friends on campus who I've lost touch with. It shows me how much I've lacked sometimes in putting energy into my friendships.
Plus, I've realized how much my family means to me. Even though I've left the nest, they still are my home. They're the biggest reason I'm here having all these opportunities. And I only feel completely sane around these people because they're a little crazy too. So for now, family's on top, in thoughts and plans and actions. Identities do change as circumstances do, and with each change, I learn a little more about myself.