Thinly masked pop tries to pass as punk

By Nate Seltenrich

The way I see it, there are two kinds of pop/punk bands - those who have a solid foundation in punk rock, and those who put a punk spin on what is ultimately pop music. Relient K falls solidly in the latter category.

Although on paper this may not look like a bad thing, one listen to "Two lefts don't make a right ... but three do" proves that three lefts are in fact very, very wrong.

Relient K's derivative, glossy and shallow tunes can at best be described as "fun," and at worst, perhaps "asinine" would suffice. I've never found it so hard to listen to something so soft.

Not to mercilessly bag on relient K, I'll admit they do some things well. For one, with harmless lyrics about cell phones, the '80s, and moody girls, relient K is sure to reach out to impressionable youth in a positive way. "Do what will make you happy / Do what you feel is right / Only but one thing matters / Learn how to live your life / Do what will make God happy," lead singer Matt Thiessen advises in "College Kids."

Also, Thiessen and fellow guitarist Matt Hoopes occasionally lay down some catchy punk hooks and spiffy riffs that tempt me to continue listening. But the accolades end there, because more often than not, it turns out that they are nothing more than candy coating a rotten apple. There is no substance here, only shine.

What's more, as I struggled through the album's intolerably long 15 tracks and 57 minutes, I realized that the only songs I could handle were the ones that sounded exactly like Blink 182.

Here's some advice for relient K, if you're reading: spend less time on the album cover art and more time on the songwriting. If you're trying to make it to MTV, good start. If you're trying to make good music, start over. D