Three really is a crowd
By Christopher DaCosta
Now that my college days have dwindled into in an endless parade of 22nd birthday parties and lower division filler classes, I can reflect upon the tools that Santa Clara has bestowed upon me.
As a business major, I don't think I could even begin to count the number of group projects I have toiled through. In fact, I have very little interest in reliving the pain and agony brought on by being committed to the Kenna computer lab, huddling for warmth with my fellow group members.
Yet, such instances have taught me the merits of working with other people: cooperation, real world experience and compromise. It's funny how these attributes can be applicable to the dark, seedy underworld of group sex. That's right, folks, I hope I didn't lull you into a false sense of comfort. This column is all about threesomes.
For some, threesomes are just a private fantasy or even a slight question of sexuality, and for others they can be an obsession dictating or destroying their future relationships. Let's take into account the alleged benefits of a menage-trois:
* Double your pleasure, double your fun, but not with Doublemint spearmint gum. The intoxicating excitement of sex with your partner and a sexual stranger all in one!
* Added experience for your sexual resume.
Sure, being part of a sexy trio might fulfill any erotic fantasies you've been harboring, but in my opinion, the disadvantages of threesomes far outweigh any of the supposed advantages. I agree with the commonly held sentiment that threesomes serve as foreplay for the ultimate demise of any relationship. Watch out, ladies. Consider it a red flag if your boyfriend inquires about your stance on inviting the village Vespa into your love nest.
Like group projects, some participants in threesomes work harder than others, and not everyone gets what they want. Overcoming cramped quarters and synchronizing schedules can also be issues involved when adding an extra member to your sexual-curricular activities. Besides, haven't you heard that too many cooks spoil the broth? There's only room for one chef in my kitchen.
Relationship health aside, a more serious issue is sexual health. Opening up your sex life to more people can contribute to the circulation of sexually transmitted diseases to both you and your partner. The risk of STDs is already quite high for sexual relationships with one person. Imagine adding more to the mix.
* Contact Chris DaCosta at (408) 554-4546 or cdacosta@scu.edu.