'Tuxedo' falls apart at the seams
By Nicole Rodriguez
Moviemakers work around the assumption that an audience will automatically accept the situation placed before them. Without this, classics such as "The Terminator" and "ET" would have been nothing more than quickly forgotten jokes. However, the makers of "The Tuxedo" have decided to try to make us believe that former teen queen Jennifer Love Hewitt has escaped her career slump and this is just too far-fetched to accept.
The story itself does not revolve solely around Hewitt's character. In fact, it opens by introducing us to Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan), a soft-spoken New York cabby who just can't seem to get a break - that is until a secret government agency hires him as the new chauffeur to the mysterious Clark Devlin ("Sweet November's" Jason Isaacs). As it turns out, Devlin is so suave and clever he puts James Bond to shame. However, Jimmy soon learns that Devlin's talent is derived from a two-billion-dollar tuxedo stashed in his closet.
As one can infer from the film's trailer, Devlin is injured and Jimmy takes it upon himself to wear the tuxedo and cover for his boss until he can return to work.
Enter Hewitt as bookworm water specialist Del Blane. Unaware of Jimmy's mistaken identity, she comes on board to help bring down Banning, a water mogul planning to poison the world's reservoirs in an attempt to force everyone to drink his own bottled water.
As a secret agent, Hewitt comes off as pathetic and juvenile. She seems more like a character from a teen movie spoof than the serious agent the film's dismal script tries to make her. As an actress, we are given the impression that Hewitt spent more time analyzing her makeup and wardrobe than her character. One can only wish her career had disappeared with the rest of "Party of Five's" leading ladies.
Chan is appropriately amusing as a cabby in over his head. However, his performance offers nothing new to an audience already tired of his typical martial arts routines. Whereas former flicks "Rush Hour" and "Shanghai Noon" allowed him to showcase his comedic talents, "The Tuxedo" is just the same tired stuff set against a different backdrop with a different girl on his arm.
The only semi-interesting scene consists of Chan doing a James Brown song and dance number at a formal fundraiser. Unfortunately the majority of this performance is missed as new director Kevin Donovan chooses to focus on Hewitt getting pouty and seductive with the villain.
Ironically, the only actor who does show any promise is Isaacs, who spends less than ten minutes onscreen throughout the entirety of the film. Despite the horrible script, his Devlin is as dashing and charming as Pierce Brosnan's Bond, and one can only hope that this film will at least offer his dwindling career the boost it deserves. At least if this happens, one can say that the movie did serve one good purpose. D