Undressing the Walk of Shame

By Annie Rose Ramos

For a moment, you forget where you are. The bed is not the same, the sheets are flannel instead of cotton, and the walls are a different color. You look to your right and there is someone sleeping next to you.

It all comes rushing back: You went home with someone last night, spent the night with them, and now have morning breath and need to figure out how you are going to get the hell out of there.

Here at Santa Clara, students sleep over at each other's houses, and I don't mean just at slumber parties. The social behavior at this school never ceases to amaze me.

After a lovely night of heavy drinking at house parties, the bar or both, a woman makes the decision to go home with someone who has somehow managed to impress her with his witty banter or handsome looks.

During the walk home together, it somehow becomes established that no one is going home alone and someone is not going home at all. More often than not, women stay over at the guys' houses.

Women get the lucky task of being guests and enduring the joys of guys' inability to keep their houses clean. Going to the bathroom at a college male's house is never a fun experience.

Wait, it gets better. Most likely the guy has a roommate that you will have an awkward encounter with. Both of you know what is going on, but nobody is going to say anything about it, and you simply pray to God that you do not have to see the roommate in public anytime soon.

The inevitable undressing for the night ensues, and you are forced to wear his oversized sweats or nothing at all, which would be really weird for the roommate.

Honestly, if people are going to do that, they really need to get a single room or a pair of ear plugs for their roommates. What roommates have had to endure is simply ridiculous. Waking up to a can of whipped cream on the floor and knowing that it was not used as a garnish for anything having to do with food is just not right.

The night brings about many different things for people. Yet it is the morning after when things get really interesting.

Once you've registered where you are, you realize that your breath stinks, you need water and maybe even some aspirin for your hangover, and you need to get back to your place.

You have the choice of waking your new friend up from his slumber or trying to tiptoe out of the room unnoticed. If he is awake, can you ask to borrow his toothbrush? Do you just cover your mouth? Do you act like nothing ever happened?

Thoughts then start racing through your mind about how you look. You most definitely do not look like you did the night before. Does he still think you look pretty? The majority of your makeup is not on your face anymore, but on his sheets and shirt.

Great. He probably thinks you look like a completely different person; it is as if you lured him in under false pretenses. The mascara that made your eyes look dark and mysterious is now halfway down your cheek, and you can only hope that you did not snore or that you do not have drool encrusted on your face.

Unfortunately, you are also starving. Will he make breakfast for you, or are you just going to have to wait until you get home?

Occasionally, the guy will have to walk back home in the early morning hours, but most likely, it is the woman's job to perform the infamous Walk of Shame.

We have all done it: The famous walk can be seen predominately on Thursday and Saturday mornings. The Walk of Shame is the migration of women the morning after they have slept over, with their dresses or party shirts in hand, wearing oversized sweats and sweatshirts that have logos of sports teams they have never heard of.

The women are either barefoot or hobbling back in their heels and, quite honestly, it is hilarious.

Oh, and guys, those clothes that you let the women borrow for the night or the walk home? You are not getting those back, not anytime soon anyway.

That handover is way too awkward, and the sweats are actually kind of comfy. For some women, those sweats are the best things that came out of the situation, so, thanks.

Annie Rose Ramos is a senior English major.