Who's a cheater?

By Christopher DaCosta

On my flight back from a recent L.A. weekend getaway, I was horrified to discover that Southwest's roasted peanuts did nothing to satiate my hunger. Instead, I resorted to the latest edition of "In Touch" magazine. All seems to be well in Tinsel Town -- J. Lo and Marc Anthony might be spawning a little Latin love-child and Martha's much anticipated prison release date is set for this week.

Then I noticed the bitter accusations of Nick Lachey's excessive extra-marital flirting and Brad Pitt's "other women." These intimations of unfaithfulness led me to question, what exactly would constitute cheating? Sure, there are the obvious instances, but what about those blurry peripheries? Flirting with a coworker who looks like Angelina? Hanging out alone with a platonic friend? Going to a strip club?

The subjectivity of cheating implies no single correct answer. Personally, I am a strong believer in emotional infidelity. If you're bearing your soul to someone or if your feelings are growing at a much faster rate then normal, you need to stop, drop and re-evaluate. Additionally, as a rule of thumb, I like to avoid anything that looks, sounds or smells like a date with someone other than my current beau.

When trying to detect on-campus cheating, my field experience as an observant Santa Clara party-goer has yielded no results -- considering our widespread hookup culture I only know couples who are linked after several swigs of Captain Mo and a scandalous encounter on The Hut dance floor. But the plot thickens when you try to define cheating in the context of such casual relationships. As one of my scheming friends inquired, is it possible to cheat on someone who's simply just a friend with benefits? When does that unspoken boundary become a reality?

Who really knows for sure, but I assume the awkwardness would be paralyzing if you bumped into your regular no-strings-attached hookup while courting a fresh one at Chalet. Despite not having any obligations to each other, good playas don't burn bridges -- you always want to have at least one person you can call to come over and "watch TV" after the bars close. To navigate this sticky situation, I would therefore recommend no more public canoodling. It's considerate, respectful and does away with the need for thorny, potentially harmful introductions.

* Contact Christopher DaCosta at (408) 554-4546 or cdacosta@scu.edu.